Last Weekend in Ireland - Sligo

My last weekend was amazing. I took the train to Sligo where I was going to meet Emily and Michelle. They both drove up there earlier in the day. I decided to take the train to give myself a different experience and a break from the buses. It was really wonder. I ended up making small talk with a man who lived just outside of Sligo but often came to Dublin during the week to do work. He told me about how he volunteered at the homeless shelter in city on his nights off. We talked music and politics. He shared with me cool stories about different cultural things. It made the three hour trip very enjoyable even though we really didn't start talking till about half way through.

Once at Sligo Michelle and Emily picked me up at the train station and we made our way to Emily's parents house. Sligo is beautiful! We made a quick stop to see her sister and say hi. We picked up a few things at the store headed on. Emily's family was so amazing and so welcoming. It's a super cute place just out town that her parents build when she was young. That night they had a amazing dinner with her family and her sisters. After we all sat around and talked late into the night.

The next day, after an amazing fry made by Emily's Mom, the girls took me to see the sights. First we went to W.B. Yeats grave. We stopped and had tea and just enjoyed our morning.

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=1860

We then made our way to a waterfall and checked it out. It was gorgeous.

http://www.sligozone.net/GlencarWaterfall.htm

We made our way to the other side of town into the country to check out the beach. The tide was in so we stayed up and just kind of looked around. Emily then took me to a place called Hangman’s Hole. It was so amazing. The views in Ireland still blow my mind. We then went back up the way to Emily’s but went up the hill where you could see all along the coast and see the mounts surround it all. I also got to see a real hermits village with was really cool because I did not know they were real groups with their own spiritual practices. We then made our way back to the house for dinner. We had an amazing meal again and decided to ditch out plans to go out in the evening as we were all pretty tired and feeling a bit poor. Instead we stayed in, went through her Mom's wedding pictures, pictures of Emily and her sisters when they were young, and played a rousing game of Cluedo.. Which is Clue back home.

Sunday we got up again and made our way to the beach to have lunch in a pub with a hatched roof. It was really nice and the food was lovely. Emily braved the wind and cold to get me some real Irish sand and we made our way back into Sligo.

We got to the train station and we said out last goodbyes. It was super sad because I have no idea when and if I am going to see these girls again. They have been so amazing to me throughout my whole stay and I value their friendship so much. It was a really amazing last weekend but I am starting to get very glad that my trip is almost ending.


On the train ride home it was so beautiful. I am starting to feel a bit run down through and not sure if it the after effect of trying to heal from my tattoo, a really busy weekend, getting sad it's almost the end, or my body is just pushing it's self through these last 5 busy weeks and is starting to let go a bit. Whatever it is I know I need to make it through this last one and hopefully in a few weeks from then will have time to rest.

Head Office

One of the first things I did in the morning on Friday was head to the Catholic Youth Cares (CYC) main office down town. Those of you who were on the trip to Ireland with me, we went to it when we went to hear the women speak about Catholic Youth Care in Dublin. We met up with the women who supervises the Garda Diversion Projects for Catholic Youth Care. Eileen was meeting with her to go over some training with a drug resource book. While Eileen was getting some copies of stuff, I spoke to her more about her role in the project and how it all came together. She was great and so wonderful with me, answering all my questions and letting me look through her resource books which she had a ton of.

After the office visit we made our way to have lunch and do our weeklie supervision at the same time. She wanted to take me out as it was our last one. It went well. I can't say enough how great Eileen was with me through this whole process. She was amazing as a supervisor giving me honest feed back. Giving me a balance of positives and constructive criticism. I said it before I even got here, a supervisor can make or break a placement and she for sure has made mine. I have been so lucky to have her helping me explore and learn about the centre and even trying to give me a real view into youth services in general in Ireland. I am so thankful.. and so sad it's almost over.

Eileen then took me to the train station as it was 'lashing' out and she did wanted to make sure I made it there on time. I then headed off for my last weekend in Ireland.

Tattoo & Movie Night at the Drop-In

So today was the day I got my new tattoo.. Doesn't really have anything to do with my placement but it was exciting. So I won't talk much about it but it took 4ish hours and it's beautiful.

'm a big girl.. but it was pretty swollen

I made it to placement a bit late but I had let them know ahead of time I wasn't sure how long it would take. I missed my call with Catherine and wasn't able to reconnect with her before drop-ins started in the evening.

The night was pretty fun. It was safety week in Finglas community. What this means is a bunch of different agencies have gotten together and put on different weeks to bring awareness to different issues in the community. The different agencies then put on different workshops and events for families and youth in the community. Tonight was one that the centre had agreed to put on, so it was a movie night at the centre. We made little treat bags filled with popcorn, juice, and a chocolate bar and put a bunch of fruit out. It was cute, they ended up putting on old videos that had been made in the centre by youth in the community about 7 years ago. They were very cool, it was neat to see some of the youth I had gotten to know in the videos when they were much younger; super cute. I worked hard to hangout with the older youth, struggled a bit because it was the movie night but I did ok. The girls I had talked to last week came and chatted with me. I helped them fill out some job applications for a mall. Overall a good day.. my leg is for sure a bit sore now through.  

Garda Station & Dublin Bus Funding Event

Wednesday I went with Eileen to the Garda station (police station). It was an open house to the community and they were bringing schools in to give them tours throughout the day. Because of the FAN projects connection with the JLO they were invited to come down and set up room to talk about the centre. The night before Martina, Dara, Laura, and Eileen worked hard to put together an information board. We met up with EFFORTS and took over from there as they had been there during the early morning. It was really interesting but super hard to explain so I think I will just add a bunch of pictures to show you kind of what it was like. They were showing cells, cars, hand cuffing kids, showing them guns, drugs, riot uniforms.. really all kind of crazy. But then again.. really interesting to see. Different a bit from how we do open house tours in our stations back home.

Later in the evening I got to attend a funding event put on by Dublin Bus. I guess every year Dublin Bus takes all the unclaimed money from people who over pay (like if the ticket is 1.57 euro and people give 2) and have different organizations write in about a need for a specific project they would like to get funding for. Dublin Bus goes over the applications and picks ones to give money to. They invite all the winners to this event but don't tell them how much they won. So if your proposal got picked you are invited find out if you are either getting 1000, 2000, or 5000 euro. Then they present the cheques at the event. It was super nice, they provide some drinks and a bunch of famous Irish people come out to support the event. Really good for networking and just prompting the work of your agency. FAN and EFFORTS put a proposal together, so they are going to split the money but it was exciting because they got 2000 Euro. Really fun night with Laura.  

Networking... Plus Enchiladas and Chips

When I got to placement I started getting ready for groups right away. I went over the drug sheet with Eileen and made copies to get ready for the groups in the evening. Eileen and myself then made our way to the Fingal centre to meet another contact Eileen had made during her suicide training a few weeks ago. I really can't think of her name right now but she was great. She gave us a tour of the building and then told us all about the different programs the centre puts on. They do a ton of different things. Eileen then shared about the youth centre and told her about the programs. I also jumped in to explain some of the programs; it's crazy the amount of knowledge I have been able to pick up. Its so amazing the resources out there and how each agency doesn't know enough about one another. I feel like this is the same in Canada.. There is so much need in this area of services that just so much time goes into the work; it means we are always the best at promoting our own services. The only thing is that if we were better aligned we could work more efficiently and maybe better meet the needs of the families and individuals we are working with.

One of the really cool programs they offered, and really the only one really directed at youth is their 'Turn'in' program. Its main focus is to engage and work with young people and their parents/guardians by providing a programme of support. Through a needs based assessment, they aim to engage and provide supports for teenagers with early school leaving support issues. The programme seeks to build on the strengths and problem-solving abilities of the identified young people and their parents/guardians. It will restore their confidence in their capacity and ability to deal with whatever difficulties may arise.

Only one of the many interesting programs they run. I will add the website if you want to check them out at all:

http://www.thefingalcentre.ie/index.php/how-we-can-help/stayin-on-family-support/

We then picked up some groceries quick for one of the groups as they were cooking tonight and other biscuits and what not.

Way too fast it was time to get ready for groups. The first boys group showed up but was a bit early trying to get in. At the centre they try not to let the youth too early because workers are often still setting up the groups and there is no one to supervise. A couple of the other boys were allowed in but asked to just stay in the main area. They right away asked Laura what was going on tonight, when they found out they were not cooking tonight (it was the other group we were cooking with but they wouldn't know that) they left. We were not sure what was going on, but a few minutes later the boys were back at the door. As they were going to be let in they asked Eileen about cooking, when she explained that they had agreed to do a drug info session this time and next week was cooking the boys became very upset and a bit aggressive, yelling and swearing at Eileen, they were not allowed into the centre and left. Eileen, Laura,some of the CE, Michael, and myself talked about what happen and discussed what was going to happen with this group for a bit. I got a bit frustrated during this process because I felt like every time I tried to speak to it, I felt as if I was being talked over and not really heard or understood. Eileen and myself talk a bit about this and I felt better after. I think everyone was a bit emotional and it is often forgotten that I have experience in dealing with aggressive youth in treatment. It was just hard I think because it was one of the first times I was really made to feel like just a student. In the end it was good, they decided to set up home visits with the boys to talk about if the group was really something they wanted and explain that to do the fun activities they also needed to do the programming piece and that behaviour like that could not happen for the safety and being respectful to all.

Later the other group showed up and we cooked with them. They made enchiladas and chips. It was a ton of fun. They were pretty helpful and seemed to enjoy themselves. They do use some harsh language with each other and seem to know how to get each other riled up at times but for the most part it wasn't too bad. At the end we all ate together and chatted and talked about school, things they wanted to talk about in the group, and continued to ask me lots of questions about Canada. We tried to bring up the way they spoke together and go deeper into that, but the group kind of started to try and change the topic and attention. Most the youth even helped do clean up. Hard night but it ended not too bad.

Beginning of Second Last Week

When I got to placement on Monday it was right away very busy. The reality that this is my second last week is really sinking in. When I got to work I started to put together all the resources I had found last week. I finished the drug quiz I had put together for the boys group on Tuesday night. I found an activity for the girls group for tonight as well. I spoke with Dara about maybe doing a home visit with him if any come up that he would feel ok bringing a student with him on. This is one of the components of the job that I still have yet to do, so it's one thing I would really like to try and get to do if I get a chance to. I also called and set up a meeting with the JLO worker as I have not had a chance to do that either. Its set up for my last week; I hope it happens because I’m really excited to get to talk to her. I think she will be able to answer some of my questions that will help tie the whole program together for me, so that I understand how it fits with the juvenile system a bit better.

The first group of boys was fairly interesting to see. I stepped back a bit because I had not been building relationships with some of these boys as fast. They were working on communication skills and used team building games to help with this. It was interesting to see; there were a ton of behaviours from these boys, as they were pretty disrespectful to Eileen and Laura, making a lot of sexual comments, swearing, and very easily distracted in their own conversations about drugs and partying. They got through a couple games having about half the group buy-in at a time. After the group was over we all got together and talk a bit about how the group went. It's interesting and a good conversation because it's the real work that comes with youth work. Youth who seem to be crying out for support (these boys showed up every week, attendance was not a problem) but then getting them to engaged enough in programming that it feels worthwhile. Trying to pull out the positives and focus on the small steps groups are making when they can sometimes drive you crazy.

It was good to see the girls group again. I am already getting sad that I only have one more week with them. The activity I lead went well; the girls seemed to respond well to it and enjoy it. I am feeling very comfortable with this group, and as I do I am starting to see some of the personal issues these young women are dealing with in their lives come out more. There was a great deal of talk about drinking, family issues, and interest in having sexual relationships. Eileen is trying hard to get some sort of training or someone to come in with training but it's hard because these girls are really looking for it right now. There was some behaviours that came out during this session as well which was something I had not really seen from the girls. Eileen decided she was going to try and set up home visit with a couple of the girls as well, partly because she had not had much interaction with the girls parents as well so she just wanted to check in and make sure they understood the program.

Last Weekend in Dublin

So Friday night I planned to go try and find some transitional music as it was one of the things I really enjoy about Ireland but have not really got to enjoy on this trip yet. So I decided to head out alone to a place called Devitts for trad music. I planned my routine and figured out my buses as it was not on the my normal bus routine, because it was a bit off of downtown. I also made sure to figure out when the last buses ran and what not so I would not find myself stuck down their having to take a 30 euro cab ride home.

After I got all ready and felt confident about my routes I headed out. I got to my bus stop and waited.. and I waited. I thought I had got there 5 min before the bus was suppose to come but it never came. I just assumed I had somehow missed it so I would wait for the next one that was suppose to be there in like 20 min. After waiting for the bus for 40 min. I was really starting to wonder what was going on. Some young people passed me and stated they didn’t think the buses were running tonight. I was just about to leave when another women showed up at the bus stop. We started talking and she said there should be a bus coming in the next 10 min so I decided to wait. As we were waiting and chatting about if the bus would really show up or not a taxi driver pulled up and confirmed that buses were not running tonight as some youth had thrown a rock through the window of a bus around 6ish and buses were not running in Finglas for the evening because of this. Funny because I am pretty sure I know what group of boys it might have been. I decided to just head home as it was getting kinda late to now walk outside of Finglas to catch a bus and then have to do the same at 12 am. As I went home I ran into some of the young people I worked with heading out for their evening.

The rest of my evening was pretty uneventful. I tried to plan out my day tomorrow and had a quiet evening remembering my family back at home as it was a rough one for personal reasons.

Saturday

I tried to get up pretty early on Saturday (which in young adult terms is around 8 am for a weekend) and made my way downtown. I planned to take a tour of Glasnevin cemetery first. Glasnevin is Dublin's largest cemetery and was the first cemetery to allow anyone of any religion to be buried there. I passed this cemetery every time I go downtown and so many very influential Irish leaders have been buried there. I did a walking tour and went through the museum. Really, really interesting. Crazy amount of history. Very cool tour with so much information. I could talk about all the different stories but it's all so overwhelming. If you want to check out the website to know more here it is:

http://www.glasnevintrust.ie/

After Glasnevin I made my way down town. I had been pouring over different one day tours over the past few days as I knew thats what I wanted to do Sunday. It's kinda funny because I have really seen a large amount of this small country through my past three trips so my options were limited to places that were close enough to do day tours and I had not been to yet. But it worked out great because Wicklow, pretty much the south east part of Ireland is suppose to be beautiful and I have not got a chance to see it yet so thats what I decided to do. That ends up only being half the battle though because then there are like 10 different tour groups that run tours. I finially picked the one I wanted to do and booked the tour.

Next on my list was to go check out a tattoo place. I have been planning a tattoo for the last few years that I thought would be meaningful to get done in Ireland. I went and spoke to a artist about getting my tattoo and the design I wanted. He seemed excited and stated he would get back to me in a couple days with a final design.

After I went shopping for bit, this being the last time I knew I would really have an opportunity to do much shopping. Got a few souvenirs but was really trying to watch what I was spending as this trip, although it has been worth every penny has been a bit overwhelming in regards to costs, Ireland not being the cheapest place to come hangout with no income. After all of this I was super tired and it was getting late. So crazy how time just disappears. Had not really eaten most of the day as well so I think that was starting to play into things. Started to feel a bit sick and super tired so headed home. The rest of my night was not that exciting. Chatted with Micheal and made plans for next weekend. I am starting to feel a bit alone in the place I am staying as interactions with Carmel have decreased a great deal. But that’s ok, that’s how life goes. I'm only here for a couple more weeks so there is no point to being home sick because as soon as I step foot on that plane I am going to start missing Ireland so I need be ok in these still moments and just take it in. I went and sat outside in the evening and just listened to everything and took deep breathes and tired to take it all in so deeply that it would stay inside me forever. Ha.. ya I’m dork.. but it's important. I know I will never forget my time here, I know it has changed me and will continue to change me and impact my practice. I am so grateful, just so very grateful.

Sunday

Yeah Sunday! Went on the Wicklow tour, so great. Met a nice couple from England waiting for bus as well when i got here. They were very nice and chatted a bit with me. The tour was BEAUTIFUL. So amazing. Wicklow is gorgeous. Its an area with 'Mountains' and so much vegetation. It looks like out of a fairy tale.. so pretty. It is the area in Ireland which a ton of movies have been filmed. Movies like... Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, The Princess Bride, the Italian Job, the TV show the Tudors, My Left Foot, Once, Far and Away, Leap Year, Michael Collins, PS I Love You, etc. I got to see so much. Things like the bridge where they kissed in 'PS I Love You', the lake Mr Guinness bought for his daughter, different bogs, an old monestary, the pub that Ballykissangel was filmed in, and a wool Mill. I also met a young couple, one from Ireland, one from France, and their friend from Denmark. We had lunch together and talked about living in Dublin.

 
Back to Dublin after an eventful day. By the time we got back I was very tired and not feeling well so I decided to head home, I was going to try and go to a pub but it wasn't worth it at this point. .Went home, felt like I had a fever. Very weird.. made me miss home a bit even thought when I’m back in Edmonton I just end up missing my mom when I feel sick.. it sucks being sick and being a grown up. I kind of wished people would stop asking me if I am missing home though, because it's not until people ask me that I start thinking about it. Going to bed early hoping to feel better in the morning. I think I’m just overwhelmed from a busy weekend and worrying about money. I should be good tomorrow.

Crazy how Learning Just Happens

I was a bit tired Friday but it was ok. Right away we had a meeting set up to talk about summer projects. It was kind of funny because in the end, summer projects were never really talked about. I was a bit disappointed because I was interested in seeing how they evaluated programs and because I think evaluation is an important part of good programming that often gets missed, which turns into the case often because of stuff like this (more immediate issues take priority).

Everyone seemed to get super edgy and were pushing their agendas, I think we were able to get a lot done in regards to programming needs for the groups running right now. It's clear this work comes with it's own set of challenges and although compared to the shift work I am used to doing at home this type of shift work still has it's own challenges. When working with youth it's hard not to run into these kind of issues because our hope is youth are going to school during daytime hours making the most accessible times to be doing the work evening and weekends which can have huge impacts on the personal life and well being of workers because it is in such conflict with the norms of our '9 to 5' society values.

Later I had one on one supervision with Eileen. One of the major things we talked about is my need to work towards pushing myself to do deeper youth work and working on my relationships with the oldest drop in youth. I have comes so far and had so much success that the challenge is to just use every bit of time and unitize it to push myself and my learning.

I went to take a break and have lunch. As I was doing this some of the older girls came in and were waiting for Laura to get back to talk to her and get some help on some applications they were filling out. It was really amazing because it gave me the chance to chance to talk to some older girls and work on relationship building and get to know them. Its crazy how that stuff can sometimes happen like that. The in/opportunity I was looking for just appears. Now I am not a huge believer in fate or things happening for reasons. I more believe that when you are aware of something you are looking for and seeking out opportunities more. So although it seems like it just kind of fell into my lap I know that there most likely was other times opportunity like this might have been there but I wasn't taking full advantage of them like I should of been. Whatever it was, it was great conversation and helped me understand some of the issues going on with the older female youth in the community. I think it will also help me come next week during the older groups drop in. To bad it's going to be my second last drop in. I really do wish I had more time here. I feel like I am really just starting to get into this work. To end the day I had a programming planning meeting with Eileen and her CE from the FAS program. It was good because I think I got more of a look into how the CE program works, which is much like a student. I think the down points of the program are that there is much less time given for one on one interactions with youth and really no time given for support and supervision.

I am staying in town this weekend so today was my first real Friday shift where I stayed till the end of the day. I think it's good I’m staying in town this weekend as I am starting to feel a little run down from how crazy and fast paced this placement has been. But I find I also have put a great deal of pressure on myself not to 'waste' this weekend in Ireland as I only have one more after this. So I do hope to do a few more things in Dublin before I leave and it kind of seems like this will be my last chance so lets hope I use my time well.

Drop-Ins and Half Way Eval

Thursdays have turned into fairly busy days just because you start so late, so it feels like you are trying to get so much done before the drops in start in the evening. Today it started with having a supervision with Eileen and Catherine. We went over my goals and talked about how I am doing half way through my placement. It's so crazy to think I really only have two weeks left. We talked about all the progress I have make, where my strengths have been and areas I can still focus on in the last few weeks. It has been so nice to hear the Eileen feels like I have a lot of relationship skills. Mostly my focus has been on some of the skills needed for when you are working independently, such as making small talk to network with different people, being really forward and asking for what I need, being able to have people make time for me, etc. Things that I need to become more confident in a case load type role. After we chatted about all that and went over my mark for the first term I chatted one on one with Catherine for a bit to talk about the upcoming conference. I am actually getting very excited about the conference just because it's something that I haven't had an opportunity to do much of within the field. It's something I used to be very involved in through the United Church which is kind of interesting, not always the place you think a person might get conference experience but I found it to be super wonderful in helping me explore how to make contacts and understand issues deeper involving the community. I think one of the things I struggled with around getting more involved in United Church conference as I got older and I think might give me a bit of fear going forward in my own field is that some of the dream cloudiness of the ideals goes away. You are brought more to reality, what is not what is just talked about in some ways. I don't know if that will make sense to any one but it does for me. Politics become more transparent and the games start to formulate in somewhat more in-depth ways. Now again I don't know if this will be my experience, and please don't take this as all bad. I just think it might be the nature of this kind of stuff, but there is so much growth and opportunity that comes with it. I also do not know if this is what I am going to experience at a CYC conference, I just know this is some of the things that were brought up for me at another conference level type experience.

After the phone call I helped set up for drop ins. The junior's (12 and 13) came in first; there wasn’t many of them but I enjoy hanging out with these boys and they talk with me more the more they are getting to know me. I also find they are more responsive after being in groups with them because they are getting more time to see me working with Eileen and Martin. The young boys always seem to really look up to Martin and other males in the centre. I think a huge factor in this is a lot of them are lacking positive older male role models in their lives.

The middle group was great (14 and 15), I enjoy them so much. Some of my relationships have really started to form, even with some of the youth who just use the centre for the drop ins once a week. I am getting to know them and they are starting to come to me to chat and play games which really is pretty great since some of them I have only met two or three times before this for a couple of hours.

The last group, 16 and up, I seemed to being struggling with more. I think this is just because the relationships are coming much slower. I think there are several reasons for this. One being I am not working in the groups of any of the older youth, so I don't have that 'in' where once I am in with a few of them I am in with the rest. As well I think it's the age group itself that can be challenging. At this age youth pick more specifically who they are going up to and understand that some one who is here on a 6 week practicum is not going to be here forever. I feel like although relationships are coming slower though, I need to remember it's not necessary that I’m struggling but that the process might just be a bit slower. I did talked to Eileen for a few minutes after and I am going to try and focus for my next last couple weeks to try and build up these relationships and find different ways of getting 'ins'. Eileen explained that this is normally the hardest group to get into especially in a community such as Finglas.

So very tired tonight. Going straight to bed.

Getting to see More of Dublin

Once I got in on Wednesday, because it is one of our two early days in the week where we start in the morning instead of the afternoon, I used the time to do some of the program planning that had been talked about over the past few weeks. I used the time to try and look up different drug awareness programs resources for one of our Tuesday evening groups. I looked up listening and team building activities and games to use with some of our other freshly starting groups, and tried to look up information on sexual health resources for the girls group. It was an interesting experience. In Edmonton I would know where to go or who to talk to to help put together good quality information and packages that I would feel very conformable in using and facilitating with youth. Here I dont' have the same resources. So I slowly sift through information. Another thing I don't think people always realize is that when in a different country Google sends you to thats countries sites before anywhere else so unless you would have specifics I would come up with a large amount of information that I really did not have the knowledge of organizations or services to know what was reliable or quality information. I was able to sift through some stuff and put together a quality drug work sheet and some other awareness information. I also put together a mix of some of my favorite initiative and team building games.

I am finding putting information together for the sexual health programming interesting. I really feel there is a lot of apprehension around wanting to run this program without more training from a number of the workers. I think this has been something that has really struck me because it just brings out some of the huge difference in culture. When it comes to some of the stats back in Canada, such as one in every three women has been sexually assaulted in some way before the age of 18 it makes me sick and makes me think we are so behind in how we deal with and teach issues related to sexuality. But in contrast when workers are so very uncomfortable and unsure how to even start the conversation I am seeing just how ahead in this area we really are.. in no other way but in our slowly moving into it being more safe to talk about openly. The Catholic background of Ireland plays into this a great deal I assume which makes sense.. but is scary a little bit just because you can see how much it is needed in young people across the world.

In the evening, Martin, Eileen, and myself ran the young boys group. It was pretty fun, those boys are so cute. Its sometimes scares me the lives these boys really live outside the centre. They have so much to give, i hope they are able to see it.

Eileen then invited me for dinner that evening after work. It was super wonderful of her as my evenings have become fairly boring and a bit lonely at times. I think she had maybe picked up on this in conversation and felt kind of bad. She told me how she would normally not do this with a student but having an international student so far away from home with not many supports in the city she thought it should be something they should have thought more about before having me come. Which I thought was a good observation, not that I have been struggling that much, but that it would just have been cool to have the opportunity to do some more stuff with my co-workers from the centre outside of my placement since I am only here for a short amount of time.. but it's been hard to really make to much time for anything since I have been so busy anyways.. but it's something to think about.

The evening was so very Fantastic! Hard to even explain, it seems like I have all of these small events packed so full of so much learning and just great opportunities to talk to amazing people. This evening was for sure one of them for me. It was so wonderful even to get to drive through the city and see what it looks like from a driving perspective.. not to be just headed downtown on the bus. I got to see another Traveller area on the way, I'm so interested in learning more about the traveller community. I know I most likely won't have a ton of time while I’m here but I hope to do some more research when I get back home to have a better understanding. Eileen also lives with her cousin in an area of the city that she described as very 'posh'. It's funny cause even though I have spent some of my time out in the country side because most of my time in Dublin has been spent in Finglas and downtown I think I really started to think that’s the only way people in big city Ireland lived. I know that sounds horrible and somewhat ignorant.. but I mean it's just kind of one of those things you don't even realize until the thought is challenged. Anyways I was super glad it was just so I was able to have a more full picture of the city, seeing the contrast in different areas. This area is gorgeous, huge homes, very clean, much more up keep, just a different feel all together. Indeed this shouldn’t be surprising as this really is I’m sure how it is in any big city.. but was just nice to get that reality check.

The first thing Eileen did was take me to the beach.. again kinda a mind blowing thing.. which again not so proud to admit to. Don't get me wrong I do know that Ireland is an island, thus it would have the opportunity for lots of beaches.. but it just seemed so weird in some ways. Most of the coast I have experienced in Ireland has been just that.. coast. Not beautiful sandy beaches, SO BEAUTIFUL!! With seashells. Ha, I am a loser, how excited I was, but it was great.

After the beach she took me for a little drive through the community and it was very clear this was a very posh community. We then headed back to her cousins condo after getting almost locked in one of the estate gates after going to look closer at an old hatched roof house. Eileen showed me her place and made me feel very comfortable. We had dinner and a few drinks. We talked about how I had been doing in placement, my experience in Ireland, what I was learning and getting out of the experience in general. Then the conversation even went deeper into sharing more about our passion for the field and where we came from, and where we are at in our lives. It was so great to have that experience of getting to have someone I have gotten to respect so much as a great practitioner open up and talk with me at a level beyond just a student. I think in my everyday life I try and keep friends and family around me or at least a phone call away where I can get into these deeper conversations about life and my work with. I think I have been greatly missing it during this trip. It was so nice to have a bit of that tonight, I am so grateful.

Eileen then drove me home after a wonderful night. The last thing she did was give a short tour of Ballymun, really the only area in Dublin that has a worse reputation then Finglas. She showed me the big concrete building that use to fill the area. Only a couple are left standing and are boarded up now. But there use to be quiet a few in the area filled with drugs, housing the very poor, and a haven for criminal activity. Eileen went on to explain during the boom in Ireland they tore a number of them down and built new buildings but commonly people just feel they moved the drug users and the prostitutes into nicer homes, that it did not deal with the real issues in the area. I just looked up Ballymun on Wikipedia; right away it talks about these buildings. They honestly made me think of what I would imagine the buildings would looking like in the ghettos/projects in the states even though I have never seen them either.




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballymun

Getting to see a School

Tuesday I came in and left pretty soon after getting there. Eileen had done some linking up and making contacts while in her training last week so one of the the people she had met works in one of the secondary schools pretty close to the centre, a school where a few of the children who are in some of the FAN project groups go. We made our way to the school. I was excited about getting the opportunity to see the inside of a school, most likely more than I should have been. I think because I had heard about the school system being so different from the Canadian Education system I thought there might be some interesting differences in the actual structures themselves. I mean I also think I knew this was a long shot, that schools are often, just that, schools. With classrooms, desks, and some kids cutting class, and others making the honour roll. I think it met my mixed expectations. It seemed to be in a older building, like everything in Ireland. It also seemed pretty standard. We met with Eileen's new contact who was really wonderful. She explained to us more in detail her role at the school. She ran the homework club and did one on one work with helping youth find success in school, meaning she would try and help find resources or get any type of supports the youth might need.

The Homework club was made up of two main parts which they explain on their website:

HOMEWORK CLUB
We aim to create a safe, student led and comfortable teaching environment for all the students. The HomeWork Club strives to enhance learning and teaching for everyone. The Homework Club has played a positive role in improving our students' school attendance and their attitude towards education.

Monday, Tuesday and Thursday only.
It is only for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year.
Students are provided with a light snack such as pizza slices, sausage rolls, burgers or fruit to begin with.
The club starts at 3:40 and finishes at 5pm.
It is supervised by teachers who help students with their homework.
Reduces the chance of students getting into trouble for not doing homework.
Our school actively encourages healthy eating and lifestyle. The school is supplied on a daily basis with fresh breakfast packs.

BREAKFAST CLUB
Operates from 8am in the morning to 8:35am.
The breakfast club is supervised.
It allows students, who leave home early or forget their breakfast, an opportunity to eat something substantial before class begins.
Cereals are available as well as orange juice, fruit and a variety of rolls, e.g. cheese, ham, turkey, egg and chicken rolls.
Remember, your children will be warm, safe and supervised.

Care Team
At St. Vincents, we are committed to giving our students a stimulating and challenging educational experience. In order to support our students the school is fortunate to have a care team. This team includes the. Principal, Home School Liaison person, Guidance Councillor, RE person and a Councillor.

After she explained her role in more detail Eileen talked about her role at the centre and the type of work she does with the FAN project. Eileen also explained about all the different programs in the centre that young people have access to.

After we all kind of discussed different ways that both could keep in contact or support each other in the work that they are doing with the youth. Eileen talked a bit about and later talked more in depth with me about one of the bigger challenges with her program being how restricted it was at times. It being such a small program and the fact that they could not always just take referrals from anywhere as they are mandated to meet the need of their JLO first. So although telling schools and other community groups is great she feels bad because they are hardly ever at a place where they are able to take on referrals from these places.

One of the other really cool parts of this visit was that when we were all talking about different ways to get involved and utilize each other, I was really a part of the conversation. What I had to say mattered and they both seemed interested to hear what I had to say in the brainstorming progress even though I was a stranger from Canada stepping for my first time into an Irish School.

If you're interested in seeing the school I visited here is the website:

http://stvincentsd11.scoilnet.ie/

Once back at the centre I spend the afternoon working on putting together the rest of the poster for the research project and trying to get that done.


In the evening I took part in two groups where we used this time to finalize the direction the group wanted to go for the rest of the term. I am getting to know the youth better and they are starting to see me more as one of the workers in the centre. I am really loving the groups and starting to feel much more comfortable with the process.

Bring out the Canadianish

Monday I started back fresh and feeling great from the weekend. We started off planning for the young boys group and getting everything ready for the other groups for this week. It was pretty low key at the beginning, busy but I feel like I am more getting into a routine and know what has to happen so it is feeling less crazy. Eileen and myself went and picked up groceries for the week and and chatted with youth in the community a bit.

In the evening our first group was the last group we had been working on trying to get to show up. They are a group of fairly high risk male youth. It's interesting to see the different groups in different stages and where they are at with the program. In some of the other groups with less high risk youth it can be a struggle to get them to show up at times. With this group they always show up but seem to be the most disrespectful to the workers and the building, but these are the youth that are at highest risk of offending. It brings a lot of the same challenges as high risk youth in Edmonton. I can see some clear similarities in trying to find programs that work for these youth both in residential and community. It takes a lot of work and so much patience to get small movement out of these youth. Given chances and setting boundaries, supporting these youth to want more from themselves than what they see. Really interesting group of boys with so much potential to make a difference in their community,

With the girls group tonight it was super laid back and fun. They got together and cooked two different coddles for me to try. I decided because they wanted to cook for me I wanted to cook for them as well so I tried to think of something Canadianish that I could share with them. I emailed a co-worker back home and got them to ask one of my girls I work with in the T-SIL program to send me a recipe for Bannock. She agreed and sent it to me. It ended up turning out really well. All the girls cooked together and helped each other out. They were all excited to try the bannock and learn about the youth I work with back home. They helped me cook it and asked tons of questions about youth culture back home and Canada in general. It's wonderful to share meals, I have always thought that. Sharing a meal helps build connection. I also love when the cooking is communal, I think it brings a sense of community and brings everyone into the relationship and process of providing. The girls chatted about their families, things going on in their lives, and shared stories. I am starting to feel very conformable in this group and am already sad that that I only two weeks left with these girls. I feel like they have welcomed me in and that I would have the potential to form some good relationships and do good work here if I had more time. I think I need to trust that by even just feeling this way the girls and myself are both hopefully getting something out of my time here.. I know I am.

Familar Faces, Bogs, Old Stuff, and Ancestery

This weekend I headed off to see Paula. I decided to take a different bus services due to all the issues I had with missing my bus and everything the weekend before, also it turns out Bus Erinn does not have stops where I need to get to anyways. I left from work and was fairly easily able to find the bus station and find my bus.. although I was a bit confused once inside. I made it onto the bus and was on my way to Strokes town. The bus ride was long and cramped, lots of people leaving Dublin for the weekend. I was very aware of where I was putting all my stuff and made sure to let the bus driver know I had no idea where I was getting off; he was super friendly and had no issue with it which was great. I was the only one to get off in the small town. I talked to Paula on the phone a few min before and was left knowing I was going to be being picked up by Theresa. It took a few min but I found her and we made our way to Paula's. It was SO great to see Theresa and Paula. It's hard for me to given explain how much this weekend hit at the prefect time. I had supper with Paula and Thersea and got to meet Paul's boys. They were all so welcoming and the boys were so cute. It was so great to be around friends. We stayed up and chatted and drank some wine. Paula and Theresa are amazing women and I have been very lucky to have gotten the chance to have them in my life.

The next day Paula took me to a bog and shown me a patch that they are renting from a family. It was crazy because during my trip to the Jail with Martin she had started to talk to me about turf and then informed me about the politics around bogs going on in Ireland. When I got to Paula's she had turf she was burning on the fire and explain that they went to the bog every year and processed turf. Paula was amazing, and took me out to see it and get a better idea of the whole thing. It's really cool to get to see and understand more about some of the issues surrounding it. Most Irish people think it's kinda crazy I was so excited to see a bog but it's just kind of one of those things that aren’t as interesting when you grow up around it.. like the oil sands would be to most Albertans.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog

That afternoon we picked up the boys and Theresa and made our way to a famine museum in Strokestown and checked out Strokestown Park house & Garden. It was really beautiful with so much history. Lots of detail about the famine and the house was so cool, so much history, really incredible.

http://www.strokestownpark.ie/

We then headed back with the boys to the house and picked up some chips on the way. Offered to drive me to Castlecomer the next day as it was a trip I was trying to figure out how to make on my own. It was really incredible of the them to take me as it is a very small town by Kilkenny which is not a tourist hot spot at all so it would have been hard for me to get around and do what I was wanting to do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlecomer

For those of you who know me well know that this trip would have not have happened without support from my family and as part of that I wanted to give back and visit the area where my ancesters came from. Theresa and Paula made this happen. I do not have enough words to thank these women. The next day we left early as it was a super long trip on pretty much the other side of the country. The whole thing was amazing. I will just say it was kind of crazy how things came together and I ended up not only finding the church my family would have grown up in but got to see where the old homestead would have been and met some people who might have been related in some way. It was a day I will l never forget and for sure it one of the highlights of the trip for me. I got a bus in another town on the way home and made it back to Dublin. Amazing weekend. I am so blessed to have wonderful friends here in Ireland who care so much and made this weekend possible. Once home I chatted with my parents for the first time since being here and chatted with friends. After a crazy week this way for sure a great way to end it.

Program Planning

Today started out with program planning for the groups. Now they there is a basic plan on what groups are being set up for this first 'term' things are starting to come together. Each FAN member spoke about the groups they are involved with and where they feel their group is at. They talked about the needs of the groups and what kind of training and supports they would need to have to resource as a team. It's hard to put into words all I am learning here and what I am taking out. I really am starting to see how truly amazing this program is and really enjoying the process of creating the programming that is suitable for each group. The passion and care that is put into the work is incredible and brings with it its own challenges. The team works so hard to meet the needs of the young people in the community around so many different hurdles.

I also completed my support and supervision with Eileen It was great to have a chance to really talk about everything that has happened this week for me in my placement and get to focus on what I am doing well and constructively talk about the areas I need to work on. I think this is something I have greatly been missing in my own practice for a while now. Its wonderful to have someone who believes in the work I am doing and who is a support in helping me strengthen my skills.

I know this week has had it's up and downs but I am excited for my last few weeks and to try and use what I have learned to really practice and do the best I can for the program. I am also excited to have a break and get to see some familar faces this weekend as I head off to see Paula.

Prison Trip!

Last night I ended up thinking a lot about how this week has been. I need to move forward and stop wasting this opportunity; I messed up, it happens, it's life but if I do not move forward and just try and learn from it I am going to be stuck and miss out on so many wonderful other learning opportunities. It doesn't mean I might not mess up again but hopefully it won't be in the same way. I have come so far and talked a lot about wanting to be present in this experience that I really need to be respectful to that and the short amount of time I am here. So today I am hoping to move forward and come back to pushing myself to really show up.

I went to the centre in the morning and met up with Martina and the boys from the Detached Project. Today is the day we are getting to go on a tour of Cloverhill Remand Prison.

http://www.irishprisons.ie/index.php/joomlaorg/west-dublin-prison-campus/cloverhill-prison

The tour was pretty incredible. I mean its an intense experience to really see how prisoners live. It's fine for us to say send them to jail, lets the courts deal with that stuff but I have always struggled with the lack of treatment services and rehabilitation opportunities in any peni system. But it's nice to be able to know more and really see than just from the TV, news, and movies. I do know the whole time I was having a very large desire to have had some sort of experience in Canada to compare it to so was almost feeling under informed about my own country in a lot ways during the tour. Governor Fergus Woods gave us the tour, and was great with giving information and answering any questions we had. It was kind of funny 'cause right as we were starting the tour and made our way into the main area that leads to the different wings in the prison there was a painting on the wall. The painting was of Lake Louise, which being a very kind of iconic scene for Alberta was kind of funny to see in a prison in Ireland.

After I returned from the prison visit I met with Lisa who is the FAS coordinator in the centre and interviewed her about the program and how it worked along side the centre.

I then finished that up in time to make my call with Catherine. This was the half way point of my trip so it was time for my midway evaluation with her and Eileen. I think the conversation went well. I spoke a lot about my challenges from these weeks and how I really wanted to more forward. I think I had learned about myself in the process and how I was going to use it in the future to influence my practice. Eileen and Catherine both really seemed to appreciate that I had kind of gone though the process of making a mistake, that I had caught it on my own, and then become aware of how it was affecting my practice and my confidence and been willing to name it so openly. I think this is something I try to be good at, self relegulating and evaluating but it can be hard not to beat myself up over things sometimes. We all seemed excited for the progress I have already started to make in building relationships with the young people and picking up on some of the skills needed to work so independently in a work environment of this kind.

The day went by so fast and before I knew it, it was already time for drop in to start. The drops in went fairly well for the most part. I enjoy getting a chance to see some of the youth from my groups and interact with them in a bit of a different way. I also like having the opportunity to interact with some more main stream youth in the community and get to ask them questions about Dublin and things going on for them as youth in Finglas. I feel like it is giving me more opportunity to get a well balanced picture of Finglas and what the community looks like. I also got to check in with some of the youth about the Debs.. they stated it went well and all were pretty safe for the most part. It turns out it was their party bus that I saw downtown the other night.

The Debs and Retrieving my Binder

Today when I got to the centre Eileen was back. She talked to me about how the training was really good and she used it to try and make connections with other people in the area in related areas that might have access to services that could support the youth we are working with. I have done lots of training in my day but when I go to training I don't always see it as a opportunity to network and hearing Eileen talk about it in this way made a lot of sense. I think often because we go through so much training and have so much opportunity for training back in Alberta we might not always see this as one of the bigger roles and opportunities that training can provide. I think another disadvantage is that we are often taking it within our own organizations by having them bring someone in directly for their staff which if often more convenient but takes away from our ability to utilize it as a networking opportunity, The day although it was busy seems to hang a bit as I worked. I think because I still am trying to move forward from everything that happened earlier in the week I am finding myself pulling back a bit.

I starting working on a facebook group for the den after having some conversations with the FAN team and Micheal over what they were looking for and wanted in a facebook page. It was simple enough to get the information together and start creating something simple and hopefully easy to use for the centre.

I also made a phone call to Bus Erin again to see if there was a way I would be able to get my binder back. I talked to a man who seemed very much less than impressed with me. He said he would put it on a bus today and if I did not show up to get it I would not get it back. He stated he would put it on the last bus and if I was not there, my loss basicly. Not as friendly or as helpful as I had hoped but it was my fault so I will make it work.

The FAN team also had a referral meeting for today. I enjoyed getting to take part in this meeting because it gave me more of a chance to see what happens when there was new referrals and how they checked in with old referrals or made the decisions to close files. It gave me more understanding of the need in the community and numbers of youth accessing the program when given the opportunity. I was able to see how the process of forming new groups came about and what facts came into placing new referrals into groups. So much of this process is based upon the team and individual workers. I think it's great that each member is able to use their knowledge and background in the community to share in the conversation around how to form groups in a more organic way that makes sense than it being more on the systematic side of things.

After the meeting Eileen, Martin, and myself went right into our Jr boys group. They are adorable 12 year olds who all want to be little thugs. So cute.. but some with some really crazy family history and issues. I really like this group of boys but it's hard not to have your heart break when you see how just so innocent yet on the edge they are with directions they could go in life. This group is fun with lots of energy but an age group that I’m not use to working with. I took a step back and really tried to observe interactions and tried to take it in.

Throughout the day I think Eileen seemed to notice I was a bit more quiet. I sat down and explained to her that I had made a mistake in the girls group and was just trying to be more aware and listen more. She stated it was ok and reminded me that I am a student and I am here to learn. She really doesn’t want me to step back too much. I feel like I have been trying to push myself forward but have been struggling a bit.

Paula called me in the evening to check in.. I kinda let some tears slip. Weird because today wasn't even a bad day. I think I just get stressed and try and hold myself to a high standard. This week not being able to meet that, feeling like I’m making stupid mistake after stupid mistake has been wearing on me. I think I am also starting to notice that not having enough people in my life who are such big supports has been a struggle this week as well. The whole being in a different city/country/home is starting to become more real.

Happy to say though I did make it to the bus. That was an adventure all on it's own tonight. I made my way downtown early because I didn't want to miss the bus.. but because of how the streets are set up and how taxis work in this town the dropoff stop ends up stretching about two blocks so it was more of a struggle than I thought. At one point I even thought I had missed the bus, and one was driving away just as I was walking up and when I tried to stop him, he waved me off like I was a crazy nut job.. which I guess I was. I waited a few more minutes in desperation hoping it had not been my bus to find that for once I had some luck and it was not. I spoke to the driver, got the binder, and started to make my way back to Finglas.

Another cool thing that happened on my trip downtown was I ended up seeing a party bus. This was exciting/funny because in one of my groups from Tuesday night the youth had been talking about their Debs. I know I haven't talk about this really either yet but basicaly it's like a grade 9 grad in Canada except it's a HUGE deal. It's after they get their results from their Jr certs. Anyways there is always so much to talk about and try and explain from everything that I am learning about here but basicly the group of grads had told me they had booked a party bus.. even though they are not suppose to be able to drink on them. So when I saw it I just smiled. It was a good way to end the night.. thinking of them celebrating and hoping they were making positive choices and having a good night.

Secret Millionaire in Finglas

I woke up and didn't feel better. Worst feeling ever, you tell yourself it's a new day things are going to be different and everything is going to be ok.. but it kinda feels like something is hanging over your head. I know I need to just keep going and move on. I know this up in my head but my heart is hurting. It sucks to screw up and seems to be something I am carrying with me for the moment. I just wish I wouldn't have done it, I just should have taken a second to think.

Anyways enough of feeling sorry for myself and regrets. I wanted to be here, I want to be here. I just want to do better. I don't need to do things like this and prove to those people out there that have been throwing me under the bus for years that they were right to do so.
In this field the hardest thing is when you mess up it's not just you or your supervisor or even a company you hurt. It's real people who often have enough going on for them that they need you to be at your best. They need you to leave your shit at the door and really be present for them. This is the thought that keeps holding me and bring me back to messing up. That although I’m a student, although I’m human, I need to do better then this.. and that thought then plays into all my insecurities around my work, like I am not one of those amazing people who was just built for this field. I am struggling to feel better about messing up in the group.
So really anyways.. Today I didn't do to much. I think my confidence has been shaken a bit and I’m just stepping back a bit. It works out anyways because I received an email today from G asking me to do some work on the research project back home. It was nice to think about something different after last night and shift my attention a bit. Get to be artistic and play with visual arts.. something I enjoy. I do sometimes find it hard though when my confidence is down to really feel sure about anything I am doing but I gave it my best. Eileen was still in training today so it gave me something to fill my time with.
In the evening the groups were in for planning and hanging out to try and get them off the ground. The two groups tonight ran fairly smooth. Just talking and trying to get a handle on what directions the groups wanted to move, who was coming back for sure, and building up positive group interactions again.
Tonight I just came home and hung-out in my room. I watched the episode of the Secret Millionaire that the Detached Team was part of. I don't know if I have spoken much about this in my blog yet at this point but is has been a very hot topic in the centre since I got here. It's very interested and there was a lot of talk about how the program might come off, how the editing was going to affect it, and what story got into the program and what didn't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0E9dz0QgfI

The Mess-Up

On Monday Michelle and Colin dropped me off at the bus station. Michelle went to class and Colin stayed with me to make sure I got on the right bus. Which was helpful because it was very confusing to know for sure where the bus was going to stop. But I got on my bus and made my way back to Dublin. I got back into the city around 11:30am. I found the bus to get me back to Finglas and got home and started to get ready to go into placement as I started at 2pm.
Placement today was first time I think I really struggled and made kind of a big mistake. It might have gone better normally but I think I was a bit off. I think this was because of how my weekend had ended which is no excuse but I think it might have played into my overall frame of mind and my focus throughout the day and especially in the evening.
The day wasn't too busy for me in general because I am still kind of finding my place. I called the bus station and left a message about my binder to go along with my past couple of emails. Eileen was not working today as she was in a suicide awareness workshop today and tomorrow.
Most of the day I hung out with Lauren and tried to help her get ready for groups in the evening. She had not started her groups yet as she was hoping to start a couple new groups but was still in the process of figuring out referrals, putting them together, and contacting them all. Lauren showed me a bit about that process and ran through some of the different paperwork pieces that come with starting new groups.
Just before the groups came in we ran over what the plan was for tonight, got the rooms ready, and did a shop run to make sure we had snacks and stuff for the groups for the week (to make toasties and fruit smoothies, etc for the youth).
The first group of the night did not show up. I used this time to catch up a bit on blogging as I had got behind after the last week in placement being much busier then the last. Then the last group in the evening was the girls group I had met last week. I am really enjoying this group of girls. I think this might be because they are reminding me of some of the girls I have worked with back at home.
Being so excited and looking forward to this group I think is what made what happened even more horrible... It's hard to explain or really put down here what happened cause i'm pretty embarrassed.T  I have been trying to be very open and honest about what my experience has been and that hasn't been too hard until now. I guess it's a lot easier to talk about things that make sense. What I mean by that is that maybe losing a jacket or forgetting something on a bus in a different country isn't that uncommon.. but this.. this is not so common and actually embarrassing. I really messed up and it hurts and sucks and makes me question myself. This is where that whole not making excuses but feeling like maybe how the weekend ended is effecting how I am being present today. I was told by one of my friends that bad things come in threes so I should have been done with them.. so why do they keep coming? I think that kinda thought process is funny anyways.. things happen and it's how I choose to see them. Just sucks that the only ways to see what I did is inappropriate. Feels like after tonight I’m starting a whole new three.. or maybe it is just the start of things going down hill. I hope neither is true, but I am feeling pretty horrible right now.

ATHLONE!!!!! :)

I left from work and Carmel offered to give a ride downtown. Once downtown I still had to navigate my way around and find the correct bus stop as there were probably over 30 (and that is not a hyperbole for dramatic effect) on this one road. After only having to ask some man in a nice bus driver cap for help I was able to find the correct stop and wait for the bus with a number of other soon to be passengers.

I was pretty excited for this weekend as I made plans to see some of the students who had come and done their placement in Canada. I caught Bus Erinn to Athlone where Emily and Michelle were waiting for me. I was so very excited to hangout and see some people who really knew me after two weeks of being around new people all the time. It's funny how that comfort of just having some history and knowing someone already has made some sort of opinion about you so you can relax a bit, can be so comforting in times like this.

I honestly was so crazy excited. I looked out the window the whole time on the bus. Most the people on buses like this are just going home from college for the weekend to see family. I think I might have stuck out a bit with my excitement on the bus trip (even thought I tried to play it cool). As well that trip gave me time to think about how it was for me a couple years ago when I made my first trip to Athlone on a bus just like this and how weird it is to think that at that time me being here again, doing my placement is something I would not have even been able to imagine at that time. As the bus got closer and closer and I started to recognize (or at least imagine I recognized things); it was like I couldn't sit still in my seat. Luckily I had no one next to me.

The bus was running a few minutes late so just as we got into town I received a phone call from Michelle. If people weren't able to tell I was a foreigner before they sure were after that phone conversation. A sheik of excitement explaining I was just at the Athlone Institute of Technology stop and would be with them in 5 min!!

Another important part of this weekend that ended up impacting my trip was something I wouldn't even realize until Sunday when I went to head home. But before that happened I got off the bus and was greeted by Emily and Michelle, and them gave great big hugs like I hadn't seen them in a year (which I hadn't).

After that we made our way to do some shopping for Emily as she had access at the moment to a driver and car; like most of college students understand, even if you have a car, there is not always opportunities for this in the busy weekdays of school, socializing, etc. We then dropped Emily off at home and made plans to meet up with her in a bit.

Michelle was amazing and let me stay at her place for the weekend. The girls had surprised me and made some loose ideas of plans for the weekend. It was so great to have other people kind of come up with the plans instead of deciding everything myself. I met Michelle's mother, brother, and niece at the house. We got ready to go and decided to do supper out as the rest of the family had already eaten.

I can be super shy and awkward at times, depending how you know me this may sound very normal or extremely not, but regardless it is true. I am not always sure what to do or act so I take on the role of just trying to watch and see what I should be doing or try not to get in anyone’s way.. which can come off awkward for sure. Michelle's niece noticed this right away and comment on it to her Aunt. I wish I could remember what it was right now.. but I can't. Anyways.. something about me sitting on the stairs. It was funny anyway, ha.. well maybe not on here.. but for me it was.

We picked up Emily and headed for supper at this amazing little Italian restaurant in Athlone called IL Colosseo. Then headed over to a pub where Michelle's fiance, Colin works. We spent the evening there as Micheal, Deirdre, and one of Michelle's friends joined up. It was so GREAT! So much fun and wonderful to see everyone again.

Streets Of Galway

The next day we (Michelle, Emily, Deirdre, and myself) headed out to Gallway for the day. We played on the beach for a while, got some stellar fish and chips, picked up some post cards, and did some shopping. After I spent to much money on some exciting clothing we headed back to Ahtlone. Such a good day.. and it was really amazing just to be with the girls. It was really wonderful that it even got to happen but this was only due to Colin being so lovely and letting us borrow his hot sports car. ;)

When we got back to Athlone we had talked about going out or something but settled on a nice night in with take away, a brilliant snack spread, a little wine, and a movie at Deirdre's. Deirdre was a great host and went way out of her way with the snacks for a simple night in but it was very nice.

On Sunday, just hung out at Michelle's house. I was lucky enough to get to have Sunday dinner with her family and was heading home on the bus that night. That morning I had realized what all the excitement of the bus trip had made me forget.. my binder I had stuck in the front of my seat on the way down. After losing my jacket I thought I was going to be smart the rest of my trip but that didn't seem to be the case. The worst part was the whole trip I had been reminding myself about it over and over again. Just before I got the phone call from Michelle I had pulled out the binder and then put it back, saying to myself there was no way I would forget it. It wouldn't have been a big deal except for the stuff I had inside it. It had my bus ticket, info from my placement, my interviews from placement, and some personal artwork I had done years ago. So the process of trying to get it back started, which did not go far since the bus service office was closed on Sundays.

Michelle's House

After Sunday supper Michelle and I got a ride from Colin to the mall right by my bus stop. We hung-out a bit, got some groceries, and headed to my bus stop. Over the weekend I had tried to ask several people about how the bus stops worked and where I got picked up so as far as I could tell there was only one I could be at for the Golden Island pick-up. Michelle decided to head home as my bus was suppose to be there in 5 min. As Michelle got in her taxi I had this weird thought about how horrible it would be if I missed my bus after this. As I waited nothing came.. 5 min went by.. I waited, starting to get a bit worried. Then it came.. but on the other side of the road. I followed it but it disappeared around a turn. I looked around and had no idea what to do.

I got a taxis back to Michelle's after talking to her on the phone and she said I could stay another night as I had missed the bus back to Dublin as it was the last one running tonight. This was a super frustrating night.. but taught me a very clear lesson that I needed to talk with my bus driver more and get more information on what was going on. I might be in a country where we speak the same language but if I’m not asking the right questions it really doesn't matter. Anyways.. I spent the night and headed home Monday... a bit flustered and overwhelmed from the whole ordeal and losing my binder.








But a HUGE thank you to Michelle and her Family for letting me stay at her place as well to Colin to let us use his car and make sure I made my bus!